Time Has Told And Life Goes On…

Can it really be 3 years since my last post?  It’s unbelievable how fast these little lives go!

Eli is now 6 years old and his life has changed in many ways.  The first and most important change for this blog, is that Eli has overcome all signs of Apraxia.  His speech is greatly improved. So much so, that 2 years ago I chose to stop his speech therapy.  His therapist recommended going to just classes and no more one on ones.  Eli very quickly grew to dislike this and I have always felt that if a child hates anything than they will not get much out of it. Was this the right decision?  Has this hurt his speech advancement?  I do not think it has.  He now speaks freely without hesitation.

I remember when I cherished the little words as a precious gift.  I remember being worried about who this little man would grow up to be.  In the last 3 years he has started homeschooling and is the poster child for children who learn to read from online schooling.  He is way above his age level in reading.  He is and has been a tiny computer genius and lives to play video games much like his older brothers.

Eli is the youngest of 8, and all of the cliches are true, the youngest does get away with everything.  He does get to play video games longer than the others did, he does have people serve him more than others and he is the light of my life!

I do possibly see more speech therapy in his future, just to help with pronunciations, but for the most part he is very average in his speech.  This story has many chapters left and I look forward to seeing what more stories there are to be told.  I have learned from this little man to have patience and breathe through the obstacles that life brings, especially with children.  Many, many concerns and difficulties we face as parents are overcome simply with time.  For instance, I am as I type this, calling Eli in the room for kicking his sister.  He stomps out of the room and apologizes in the most insincere way.  There was a day with another sibling, that I would worry about angry behavior and wonder if I am raising a serial killer.  Now I know, even the angriest little guys can grow up to be the most amazing kindest young men you will ever meet.  If you are struggling with anything in your children’s lives, wait. Time can be your friend!

Eli Baffles His Therapist

Today I ask Eli’s speech therapist, have you had other kids like Eli?

Her answer?  No.

Eli CAN articulate he just doesn’t.  Most often he will speak fast with his mouth hardly moving.  I swear if I could record it, slow it down and turn up the volume, I could probably understand him.  When he speaks like that, he does it without thinking just the way you or I talk.  But, when you ask him to say a word clearly he pauses for just a second before he mimics you.

She has found the key to working with Eli.  He will not do structured speech therapy.  He will not do flash cards or pictures no matter how you try to reward him.  She has to play with him and use words while playing.  The major key… an ipad.  He likes playing games, especially trains, on the ipad more than he likes being in control.  Every session he tries to refuse, but he wants the games so much he gives in.  Last Monday, he had one final word to say at the end of the session to get his m&m’s and he would not do it.  He is such a goof ball.

The therapist is very perplexed by his speech problems.  You know he knows everything and he is capable, so why doesn’t he?  She said, “It’s almost like baby talking”.  As a parent of my strange little dude, it’s fun to see someone else understand him and be baffled by him, too!  But when I stop and think about it, a little over a year ago we were working so hard to just get one word and now we get 2 to 4 that we can understand.  He’s coming along, slowly but surely.

What IF it’s not Apraxia?

“Apraxia is a neurological disorder that makes it difficult for the brain to communicate with the mouth how to speak.”

This is my statement I make all the time when introducing Eli to people to explain why he can’t speak.  No, he doesn’t have autism.  No, he’s not stupid.  No, there is nothing wrong with him.  But, what if it’s NOT Apraxia.  THEN, what do I say?

This question comes up because Eli is getting older.  When he was young, we filled out a test with our speech therapist that gave him a high probability of having Apraxia.  His speech therapist now is not sure that he does have it.  According to her, the signs for Apraxia in a child who is speaking is that they say words differently.  When saying elephant they would say  ell-fant, fant, ella, elfan.  Each time being a little different.

Eli speaks very quietly, so it’s hard to tell, but I don’t think he does that.

WHAT does that mean?  He’s just speech delayed?  Why?  As a parent, I so want to have a reason and a title to go with it.  Because, somehow that justifies his difficulty and makes it acceptable in my mind.  Without a title, without a reason I have to accept the fact that he’s behind for no reason?  He’s a little boy genius in so many ways.  He can navigate where to drive and knows when you aren’t going where he wants to go.  He can play computer games with his much older brothers and keep up.  He surprises them!

So what is wrong with my little boy?

We haven’t ruled out Apraxia completely but there is now the questions and the loss of security I found in the diagnosis.  In the long run, I suppose this really changes nothing.  But, in the short run a mother likes to freak a little, just inside my head.

Eli Almost Stops Speech Therapy

It’s that dreaded event as a parent when the therapist calls you into her office to “go over Eli’s progress”.  Dreaded because the last 3 or 4 sessions it has not been pretty.  Eli doesn’t want to go.  He acts like somebody else’s kid!  He grabs hold of me and doesn’t want to let go, cries, protests and basically shows how much he HATES his therapy.

We sit down and she says it.  She thinks it’s time to take a break.  He’s very unhappy and uncooperative during sessions.  Let’s step back and give him a little time to mature.  Now let’s make sure you understand.  I’m a good parent.  I’m a great parent!  If you met my other kids you would see what I mean.  They are fun, responsible, well behaved, considerate of others, smart, helpful and we get compliments on their behavior everywhere we go.  I’m SO thankful Eli is not my first or I would really think I was the problem.  That I sucked as a parent.  But, I know that’s not true.

So back to the therapist.  They have decided that Eli does not have any issues with know vocabulary.  His issues are strictly verbal.  She suggested I work with him at home and we come back in June.

Before we left I asked if Eli could play on Starfall.com, so they could see where he is at with his sentences.  He has only spoken one word at a time for them.  That way she could tell me what to work with him on.  They brought in a computer and he did his thing.  He loves saying letters, sounds and sentences with that website.  The therapist asked if he would do it for her.  Eli moved to her lap and did games with her, saying the sounds and words the she asked him to say.

It went so well, that she changed her mind and has decided to have Eli come 3 times a week with her.   He was meeting with students, now he will be meeting with the Professor that teaches the speech therapist students.  I’m excited for him and cautiously optimistic that this will be another positive step for Eli. 

Learning how Eli works is a constant puzzle that hopefully we are one step closer to solving.

Put an ad in the newspaper…

Shout it from the roof tops.  Gotta post a BLOG!!

I am in shock.  Can it be that my temper tantrum throwing little monster grew up a little today?   No, he’s not really that bad, but close.

Eli LOVES playing on the computer.  Everyone in our family has a computer but Eli.  If you have kept count, that is 9 computers.  We home school, so the kids get one with their online schooling.  There is a lot of time spent on computers here.  Eli is cRaZy good a working a computer, too.  He can turn it on, use the laptop mouse pad, go on the internet, find a game site called Roblox that my kids love and play the game for hours.

Yes, I am the bad mommy who will lets her kid play on the computer for hours if it will keep him happy.  At least for a week or two, until I start feeling bad and do something about it.  Well, today was that day.  I decided enough was enough.  It was time for me to deal with Eli’s addiction.  You would think the boy had been shot the way he acts when you pry his little hands and physically pull him off the computer.

I started the day making him stay completely out of the room where the kids were doing school.  That was bad.  Then he played after lunch, and we ripped him off after lunch break.  Lastly, tonight I told him he could go play IF he would not cry when I told him he had to get off.  I had him say, yes Mommy before he could play.  When I told him to get off, he did.  No fuss, no draggin, nothing!

Then there is this other issue of, I let him win and gave up on putting him to bed with the other young children.  He stayed up till he passed out.  He’s so stubborn it wasn’t worth the fight.  Yesterday, I put an end to that, too.  I made him go to bed with his brother, who carried him to bed.  Tonight, I said it was bed time and he went.  Just like that.  I’m still in shock.  Who replaced my little monster with this grown up little boy?

Isn’t that the way it always is in parenting?  Just when you think you can’t do this one more minute, they suddenly change.  Either they sense that their life is about to end or God steps in and performs a miracle because He sees we have suddenly had more than we can bare.  Whichever, I am a happy Mom tonight.

Silence is Golden

If silence IS golden, then Eli is the golden boy.

The thing is, Eli CAN talk.  He just doesn’t see the need to talk.  I think apraxia has trained him to communicate physically.  So now even though his words are coming more and more, he just doesn’t see the need to use them.  He will bring you a cup to ask for a drink.  He will point to the kitchen when he’s hungry.  This is how Eli communicates and it works for him.  Why change what works?  At least that’s what I think he would say if he could reason with me. 

We are making the leap into sentences!!

Much like you have to potty train your kid, I have to talk train Eli.  No longer am I asking Eli for one word answers or questions.  I have, this week, switched to asking him to repeat full length sentences.  He can do it, which is so very exciting.  I am thrilled with the progress he is making on being able to speak.  His diction is still hard work for him and he has to be reminded to put p, f, t and other consonants on his words.  But they are there and able to come out.  But, we get back to the real issue, he doesn’t have the desire to talk much.

It makes me wonder about the long term affect this will have in his life.  Will he always be a silent type of person?  In a house with 8 kids, I sometimes wonder why I would want that.

The Mighty Will of Eli

Eli entered the Leaps program with great joy and excitement that has quickly turned to dread and dislike.

While speech therapy sessions with the OU speech therapy students has gone wonderfully, the 3 hour class was not working for Eli.  It is a structured preschool type class where they sit in a circle and learn the days of the week, do group therapy, outside play, snack time, book reading, more circle time and then free play.  Sounds like fun, but Eli did not think so.

I honestly think is was a conflict of personalities for him.  His teacher was a no nonsense type of personality.  She required them to sit, wait till everyone was seated and sang a song for snack, etc.  Eli was not a fan of the strict structure.  And when Eli doesn’t like something he DOES NOT change his mind.  He began protesting when we would drive up to school.  The teachers and I both agree that this will not work for Eli.  If he hates therapy then he will not learn anything from it.  He HAS to like it.

We have always noticed what an amazing attention span he has.  It’s great for solving puzzles, putting train tracks together, figuring out how the computer works, but not so great for teaching obedience.  The child is adamant that he does not want to do what he is told sometimes.  There is no redirecting Eli once he has made up his mind.

So now what?

Eli will still be doing his 30 minute sessions 3 days a week.  He just won’t be going to the class.  We had our first session this way yesterday, and it was very successful.

All this being said, Eli IS coming along with his words.  I’m am very hopeful that this time next year he will be yelling at me with words.

The “SIGNS” of 3

After having a bazillion kids, you would think that I wouldn’t be surprised by something I’ve seen happen over and over, but I am.  I sometimes wonder if there’s something in the brain that magically goes off every time your child gets a year older.  Such as a 3 year old that all of a sudden stops crying when he turns 4, an 11 year old who stops finding the joy of helping mom when she turns 12 or a 15 year old who is ready to be an adult when she turns 16.   All this to say Eli turned 3, and with this new age has come a new willingness to try signing.

Here Eli is signing Daddy.  He is very happy to practice signing with Mommy.  The words he has started with are please, Mommy, Daddy, cheese, drink and train.  I say that he is happy to sign for Mommy because my grumpy little monster has not completely vanished.  If one of the children or Daddy asks him to sign and he doesn’t feel like it, it’s best to stop immediately or run for cover.  I’m not sure how much damage a 3 year old could do but I’m pretty sure Eli would be most likely to find out.

Here is an update on the rest of Eli’s therapy training.  We decided to wait 3 weeks for the LEAPS program to start, rather than try a new therapist.  His first class is this afternoon.  If all goes well, he will do LEAPS twice a week, then if he qualifies for SSI we will also add in private therapy as well.  His progress on speaking is still very slow so I am working on getting him all the help we can.

LEAPing for JoY!!

If you follow all of these blogs, then you will know that we are in search of a new speech therapist.  Today, we received super exciting news!

A few months ago I wrote about Eli visiting the LEAPS program at OU.  He was then put on a waiting list.  Today the phone call came and Eli starts the LEAPS program in 3 weeks.

Eli will attend class twice a week for 3 hours a class.  In his class he will have play time with student speech therapists, constantly overseen by a speech therapy instructor.  He will have circle time, lead by a certified teacher, with 6 or 7 other students, in which they will do pre k learning activities.  Then they will have speech therapy time and I’m not sure what else since we did not stay for that part of the class.  The classes are almost 1 teacher per kid.  That might not be accurate but it did seem that way when we visited.

I have great hopes that this will be what Eli needs. 

When speaking to the director of the program today she said what I have been thinking since I have been researching apraxia.  One therapy session a week is not enough for apraxia kids.  They should be in therapy four times a week.  Unfortunately, insurance gets involved and hoops have to be jumped through.  We are going to see how Eli does with just the LEAPS classes.  There is a possibility that he will need to add an additional once a week therapy session as well.  For apraxia parents reading this, go with your instincts and do what it takes to get more than once a week.  I have been watching my son get further and further behind his peers this last few months when he should be progressing.

Now here comes the HARD part.  Eli has to be potty trained or I have to stay for the 3 hours.  I don’t mind staying, but realistically I am a mom of 8 and that may not always be possible.  So, AHHHGGG, the thing I dread more than anything MUST happen.  I honestly would rather wait till they can take the diaper off and change themselves than potty train.  I want to say early, but he is now 3 and it really probably is time.  But, this child is not easy to sway to do things he doesn’t want to.  So, if I don’t post for a few months send help!  He will probably have won some enormous battle that might put my life/sanity at risk.  If I haven’t said it clearly enough, I HATE POTTY TRAINING!!!!

The MaGic in the NO!

I am beginning to think Eli has a special ability.  No, is his speech SUPER POWER!

No therapist I have spoken to, is surprised that Eli can say no.  In fact, no is one word they almost never have to teach a child to say.
However Eli CAN do something that seems to surprise all his speech therapists.  He can say almost anything if he says no first. There is something about that word that opens up his speech, or perhaps its that he us slighty or extremely emotional when he says it.

For instance, Eli has had a comforting song that I have sung to him since he was tiny that would always sooth him, You Are My Sunshine.  Now that he is older, he knows I am trying to get him to go to sleep and often that makes him mad.  It goes something like this…

Mommy:  “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine”

Eli:  “No, suh-shine!”

Mommy:  “You make me happy”

Eli:  “No, happy!”

Mommy:  “When skies are grey.”

Eli:  “No, skies gay!”

This goes on for the rest of the song till Eli says, “No, wuv you!”

Times like this we all stop and laugh.  It may make my a bad mother, but it is hysterical.  Make him mad and you can make him a talking parrot . . . with the no in front, of course.

Why does he do this?  My best guess is that the emotions help him over come the mis-connection that happens when he thinks about trying to say words.  I am not an expert by any means, but I am an expert on Eli.  I see so much in him, that he can say words.  They are not always clear much like any small child learning how to place words in their mouth, but he can.  It is a matter, for him, of being able to say them by choice.

So why do I think this is a super power?  Because, I have not heard of other children using the word, no, this way.  I am interested to find out if there are others.  Especially, since it seems to be special to the speech therapists.

SPECIAL UPDATE:::   ‘Today Eli said, “peas cacker”!! (please, cracker)  Everyone in the kitchen cheered and Eli was so happy he did a happy dance!!  One day at a time we will find those words.